Ben Peek | Posts.
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Posts.

Keep Your Pants On, Please Day Six Hey. Hey. There beer in the fridge? What, you come over just to drink my beer? Pretty much. I should never have started making my own. Think of it as a compliment to your use of apple. That'd be nice if I used apple. You don't? Nah. Well. Fuck. I always...

A Question of Taste Day Seven. Hey. Hey, man. You're here early. Yeah, I wanted to talk to you before my shift starts. Catch you before practice tomorrow night. Yeah? Yeah. Well? It's just--this is difficult to bring up, man. Did you find out my girl was cheating or something? No, no, it's about the...

The Cold (Day Eight) That took an hour. You're the best, baby. I shovelled snow, for an hour. Like I said, baby, you're the best. If you call me baby one more time, I'll break your other leg. Then you'd just have to push me in a wheelchair. I think you slipped on...

The Beard (Day 10) Hi, this is the Quit Helpline and I'm Mary, how can I-- It's done. Hey, Rob! What's done? That bitch is gone. She's gone. Fucking gone. Yeah, yeah. What did she do, cheat on you again? Download lesbian porn? You'll take that crazy bitch back. She killed my...

Copenhagen (Day 11) The well-- We are going to have to stop using it. The sea water has gotten into it. Maybe the Queen will come and dig us a new one? The Queen doesn't care. I'm sure the Queen does care about Tuvalu. She is not just a figurehead, y'know....

Tiger Woods (Day 12) Hey, check out this: Family services went to Tiger Woods' place. You reading that shit? Of course! You check the browsers of everyone in this job, I bet you find that they're all got news feeds up. Hundreds of little monitors blinking with the...